


Small and Useless

by RuthlessNancy



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, POV First Person, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 19:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuthlessNancy/pseuds/RuthlessNancy
Summary: However much I think about it, I just can't understand why you bothered to keep me around.





	Small and Useless

I'm not a waste of space.  I'm not! I swear, I can be useful!  I can do something that means you'll want me one day, can't I?

 

You can't just get rid of me, toss me out like so much unwanted rubbish.  I'm not stupid - I've seen you considering it. I was there! I heard you asking to swap me for my brother… what does he have that I don't?  That would've been a mistake - like I said before, I'm useful, I can do things!

 

It hurt, though.  Knowing you didn't want me felt like a punch in the gut.  But I wasn't really surprised – nothing I do is ever good enough, is it?  I try to be helpful, and  _ vwoomph! _ goes the Spanish economy.  No wonder you want to get rid of me.

 

Why bother keeping me around?  What can I do that's special? Could you not just hire someone else to pick your tomatoes?  I don't look like a tomato, you need to get your eyes checked. Maybe you need glasses – that would explain a lot.  Apparently Veneziano and I look very similar. It should have been obvious that I wasn't him when you saw my scowl! That would have saved you a lot of bother, but you're clearly too stupid to realise that.

 

Why  _ did _ you keep me?  Entertainment value?  Was it funny to watch me get more and more frustrated at my complete inability to do something of worth?  To you it must have just looked like pointless screaming; you never were the best at picking up behavioural cues.

 

However much I think about it, I just don't understand why you bothered to come after me when I left.  If you'd just let me go, you'd be safer, less of your money would be wasted on wars I accidentally started, and I'd be dead and unable to waste anyone's time, which would quite possibly be better in the long run.

 

Maybe I'll be dead soon, anyway.  There only needs to be one Italy, and sometimes I don't think anyone knows that there's more than one of us now (or maybe they don't care).  Veneziano gets called Italy all the time, you'd think he was the sole representative.  _ I'm _ the older brother,  _ I'm _ the area with the capital city (which is Rome, not Venice),  _ I'm  _ the one who understands how to host a meeting, I  _ deserve _ to be called Italy, I have  _ worked  _ for that title, and I have  _ earnt  _ it.  Yet people still talk as if I'm an Ex-nation, a has been.  Even you act that way, and I've complained about it to you before.  If anyone gets to represent Italy, it should be me.

 

Even so, if I was the sole representative, that would mean Veneziano fading.  I can't let that happen – even if he is an airhead, he's my baby brother, and I'd even face England's cooking for him.  He knows that already of course, so don't bother telling him. Just because I don't say so, that doesn't mean I don't care.

 

Everyone knows Veneziano's the better brother.  I'm not complaining, it's just obvious. Even I know it, and while you might not say it, I know you think it – I'm not stupid.  That would be why you tried to trade me in for him, back when we first met and you tried to get me to call you Boss. Like that was going to happen; you couldn't lead your way out of a paper bag.

 

I know I can be grouchy, and surely at times you must want to throw me out of the window.  But maybe consider keeping me around, for comedy value or something? I suppose it's all I'm good for.  I really haven't changed that much since we first met. On the inside, I'm just as small and useless as ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, repost from Fanfic.net from 2016


End file.
